in 7 months, i will be 30.

half my life ago, i didn’t imagine i would make it to this age. i couldn’t picture life out of high school, out of my parents’ direct influence, out on my own as an adult.

and i certainly never imagined i would be where i am today.

it’s fascinating how expectations can vary so dramatically from outcomes.

my life is more than i ever expected, and only a few points short of what i would consider perfect.

i think that is remarkable.

i also find it interesting that based on that observation, i’m not deliriously happy.

but again with the expectations.

i’m nearly 30 and i’m only now really figuring out what being happy means.

sometimes i feel like i have been asleep most of my life, and it is only the last few years i have really seen the world. there is so much i am only just beginning to understand.

people say that when you stop learning, you start dying. i never really understood that before.

but i think i do now.

*title from ‘asleep at the wheel’ by the bloodhound gang *